"There is nothing like fear for disturbing perspective, and nothing like gratitude for restoring it.
-I'm not talking about the false kind that denies that you or anyone else is suffering. Nor the shadowy kind that depends on the truism that somebody, somewhere, is always worse off than you, nor the timid thankfulness that doesn't dare ask more from life than basic survival. I mean really appreciating what is in front of you right now even if you don't know if you can count on it tomorrow."
- Growing Dandelions (Kyran Pittman)
It's true. I know that when I am open to thankfulness or determined to be thankful, suddenly I see all the wonder that is around me. Just because I'm in a time of searching, doesn't mean I have to see every little thing as a clue or part of the process. I want to allow myself to see things as complete, as answers rather than riddles.
I have found a few answers here already and yet haven't really let them be the good in my heart that they could be. They are tangible things that have stopped me in my tracks and completely gathered me up in a life of their own. Being here was totally worth it, if only for this one sight, this one smell, this one sensation.
So far, I can remember three but the list is growing even as I write this.
Devoted Whiskey Jacks. Translucent Jelly Fish. The sweet smoke rising from a chimney inevitably coming from a woodburning stove.
These things I have never known before arriving here. They existed in books I never read, aquariums I visited and in fairytales or stories from days that are long gone, like when my grandparents parents were young.
There is more. I want to say the deer, but I met them in Japan. However, finding things of Asia in this place is utterly dazzling to me. Japanese maple leaves, smaller and brighter than ours, deer wandering calmly across green spaces reminding me of Nara park and the Cherry Blossoms that are soon to bloom - even knowing they will be apart of my life again is too much happiness.
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