listening to the whispers that have been there for so many years
these whispers were warnings and now wake ups that have disarmed me
these names - of people who have seen me who have loved me
these voices and arms that have held me and spoken over me
made me smile
made me laugh
listened
been there for me
perhaps
perhaps i will find everyone else because i have lost you
perhaps you were to remain in my heart through my child-gaze
maybe that is where i need you most
and sometimes when we grow, we speak differently, maybe in our conversation
while i would hear your voice and feel your warmth, something might have been lost
you are forever a golden light
forever a strength like no other
you were the antidote to all of the times i was never loved as a daughter
and i loved you for loving me
but mostly i loved you for all of the ways you loved her
Mr. Lachapelle.
A rock warmed by the sun
Steadiness in an unsteady world
I hear your laughter like fairy bells
and imagine you a wonderful gnome in the woods
forever and forever and forever and forever
the seconds i spent with you
became entire worlds
and you gave me a glimpse of what it was to be seen
without you
the me that is okay
i'm certain
could never have been
Dedicated to Pierre LaChapelle and all the other Sunshine people in my life.
