The Way It Is

There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.

- William Stafford

Thank you to Philip Thatcher whose voice I hear when I read these words. These words that carry me through blurry thoughts and the story of the knight whose call to wake up and take one step that is truly your own, has both haunted and healed me.

home day

It has been about three weeks that I have been an outreach worker and that has been a distraction from the path of sparkling light that i was following. This golden thread (see poem) I lost it somehow and I also feel that Gods presence has dissipated too.

I can see the trees and hear the wind as it rolls under the branches causing the leaves to be as waves.
I can see the brightening of them as the sun comes for a few moments and lifts everything.
I can hear the birds.

But i am cardboard.
My hands dry. My face flat and my heart just a messy scribble with a marker.

It is the rain beating down that awakens me.

I am tired.
I am not who I was and not yet who I will be.

Only when I am all alone can I remember my body heavily sighing out each breath.
I breath deep but them my exhale is like a dragon puffing air. Like the smoke from dying embers just snuffed.

Speak to me in poetry
in poetry and rainstorms

The sunshine and blue skies do nothing for me.

I read somewhere that it is healing when the outer landscape corresponds with the inner landscape.

I am acquainted with loss and grief. I have so many more tears to cry.
This is a good place to be uncertain about life.

I am hidden away
I am close to eagles and otters

Although it is just the beginning of June. Here, it is Autumn.
A time to curl up with a book and to be quiet with ones own thoughts.