unknown soldier

and suddenly 

my dreams and things i am figuring out

seem small again

for there you are doing all you can

in the midst of more fear and uncertainty

than I could ever imagine

there you are smiling and waving

you are giving them hope

they are giving you courage

this is love in action

this is the love that matters

this is the heartbreak 

of humanity

this is surreal

what is happening

you wear the uniform

you drive off

in this second

forever frozen

you

bear

the 

cost 

what almost well feels like

 

      this is the very beginning of  a return to wellness, and life does just rush right in

      the minute it hears you breathing in and out again

      like a cat who has been waiting for you to wake so it can finally get fed

      "Hold on a minute! Yes, it's true I am out of bed.. but i need just a few hours

        maybe a day to straighten out my head" 

       I have been in a storm of fear and facing last day kinda thoughts

       I have felt that i have undone more by trying to tie it all up

       And there is no answer and I am totally lost 

       and my life has truly ground to a halt. And now what!!"

        So, I would love a moment to appreciate this feeling

        of being able to sit up, heck even lean sideways it's so refreshing

         Doing laundry and tidying some books

         wandering out into the sunshine 

          for just a few minutes

          It's 10pm. I really should get to sleep

          I'm not entirely sure that I will stay well until dawn

          but this is what I am counting on.

           One small cough to remind me of my fears

            I sit up straight I will have a tea just incase