Quiet
So very quiet
no one to turn to for direction
or distraction
I feel nothing in particular
a sadness for what was growing and now is dimming
tastes of vibrant aliveness
flashes
sometimes seconds
half a song
the flash of sad but smiling eyes
exhausted
it is time to rest and to let things that have always been so deeply in my heart
be a small imprint
a whisper
barely a nudge
my eyes cannot even meet the worlds right now
all of me is being drawn into dusk
the blue hour
the dreamlike space of nightfall
maybe it is just not yet time for the next thing
and if I knew what it was
I would rush ahead too soon
for meaning, for belonging. for the taste of life
in this day when I cannot go forward and I can no longer go backwards
I must go inwards and I must let everything grind to a halt
even my wishing
even my hoping
even the swirls in my heart
