mathamatics of myself

i have tried to be a saint and sometimes thought i was, i'm sure.
but i cannot be.

i have had times of being everything, and thought it had to be all or nothing.
but if i was everything, that means that i was taking up someone else's spot

i know i cannot be a saint, i know that i am not one
i know that i cannot be everything anymore, if ever i actually was.

i know i can only be a part of something.
i know i am only one person.

but this does not have to be discouraging, this does not have to come as a shock,
the fall is hurting because my pride was great. is great.

it is okay to just be one of many, because it allows others to be ones as well.
we are really, only, all ones with other ones with othes ones

we do indeed live in a world of numbers, and our number matters and together we become uncountable, but we are always very countable

and that's what counts (^ - ^)

i don't want to be a number!( i have said)
i want to be seen, heard and loved. i want to be special

being one amoung other ones, is indeed that special place. it is belonging, it is being seen and wanted
and loved.

oh! i want to be a number. i want to be counted amoung you.