back to school

 I am happy.

It's 12:03am on Sunday morning 

and it must be noted that I have a smile on my face

and I feel content maybe more than that

It could be that I had coffee only a few hours ago, certainly that could be why I feel awake

but the happiness, the feeling of suddenly being well rested, well adjusted, calm in spirit

full of expectation

is because my life is returning, I will step back into a world of schooling

the way I step into the sinking sand at the oceans edge

eagerly, slowly but with a wish to hasten

because it is deeply being alive, it is deeply seeing even as I am seen, it is growing in ways you cannot notice and in ways you can, and never knowing how you are lifting a soul as you help them understand. 

It is play! It is service! It is where I belong. It is feeling a constancy like the first notes of your favourite song.

It feels like after the longest and coldest of nights

here come the first warm rays of dawn!

My happiness could also be, at least in part, that we are talking. That there isn't the weight of unknown silence. There isn't that distance pulling on every hour of the day any longer.

We are freed to be here now. To be where we both are. 

Maybe happiness comes from feeling that things really are completely new. That there can be a new start.