You are becoming more beautifully yourself
with no apology and i think i have freed you with my decisions
set you on a course so clear
but i wonder if as you come together on the outside
you are becoming something new within
and i don't feel any closer than when things looked together
Did things ever look together?
I say I'm sorry I didn't make you my priority
that i let myself stay free and loved the whole world
but you i forgot
you i could never fit into
you wouldn't let me
wouldn't let me
i'm made to mold myself to someone else
but it just would not work with you
we are two worlds that met in the early hours of those
hazy powers
love makes you someone else
gives you listening skills and wild embraces
and hours to be in eachothers arms in silences that go on and on
and the thing is
no one can sustain this bliss
but why did i have to blow it all up why couldn't i see my traumas as a block
never realizing who it was i was fighting for
you never said a word against me and i condemned myself
oh hell
it's so complicated now
And you are more beautifully yourself
and i don't know how to begin
and i think that loving you might be a sin
what i mean is that the thing that i've always done is to be no one
and now, if the conclusion is more of you and less of me
then have i not set out to do the very damn thing that slowly
unravelled our love
How do I love me and love you?
Where's the us of it all? This blended unity that's indestructable.
We did love like a kindness
like a service
like a gentle breeze
We did love, like don't focus on that
if there's a problem just let it be
And I did love, like who i am is far too much for you and I'm all wrong and terribly sorry.
And you did love, like whoever you are is okay, but you looked away.
You looked away.
while I was looking.. and I just loved harder for the both of us
and where did you go?
I remember not knowing what to do past adoring
Once i waited all day for you to come home, my living paused.
I wish I could make a hearth and home but no one ever showed me
I wish I could have understood how to get you to know me
But all i knew was Love was never leaving even though you should
and Loving is real when it hurts
and Loving isn't easy isn't something sweet or true
It's something you endure through
If I had a wish, it would be to let go of all of this
completely and just see if you called me
I don't think I have a home, I often feel I'm all alone.
I know it's feelings but my little heart.
It only knows how to embrace, and how to try and value those I meet
it's easy to adore them all, they shine so brightly, they live so rightly,
I've been lost for a while.
Maybe it's time, to put away my rhymes and let this be the last entry in this narration of my life.
To quiet everything. Even the words that pour from my finger tips on dancing keys
How do I find ease. Because I think that lost and found in time. Is more of who I am.
There's nothing to solve. I lose my ground, I lose it all, I lose myself and I find everything I never
could have without the falling.
Like that underground smile.
