Without a perfect ending
without a choreographed move
without a graceful bowing
right in the middle of an ordinary
conversation
the silence between us resumes
and only a few days after
i am asked to let go for good
and i know that that's not in my power
with a head in a fog from not enough sleep
the gorgeous bright sunlight of a brand new day
that i will not touch
it all seems so disjointed
but that isn't my truth
if i surface from it or dive a little beneath it
I am happy right now.
there is sunshine on green hedges
beautiful wild flowers in vases around my home
gifts from him
little things
things that matter more than all we will never be
somehow
a cat curled up sleeping in a fuzzy ball of greys and brwns and blacks
one white tipped paw extended
this is a beautiful beautiful day
this is an emaculate life.
i am smiling
with a secret whisper i can barely hear wrapping itself around me
you are wrong. i know you don't feel it
but I am here!
the silence is here
morning is here
the pain in my head
the pressure of my foot on the glass tble
my hunger
my sorrow
and my unknown tomorrow
this summer sunshine for only a while longer
the smile on my face
that's only getting stronger
the tear of relief
from what's always beneath
the living is greater
the living is louder
what of thsess wondering?
what of relationships?
what of deep longing for closeness
what of our distances?
there is the Moon still so bright in early day
the closest it has ever been
and i am completely okay
